After a very, very long time I'm back... have just returned home for Christmas holidays and am longing for England and for Oxford already... I can't believe I've only spent two months there, it feels like I'd been living in Oxford forever. So many things have changed, you could fill up a whole year with all those events. When I was leaving on a plane, on the 30th of September I would have never expected that my life would change so much...
Most of all, I've split up with my boyfriend. A very painful experience, especially after we'd not seen each other for 3 months and I was dying to see him again. Ad a result I spent the whole Fresher's Week crying while everyone else was clubbig and drinking away. We've managed to stay friends though, which is good. We meet occasionaly, still give each other Birthday presents etc. Im really glad about that because I still think he is an incredible person who will always be very important in my life and I would hate to lose him completely.
To make up for that, I've fallen in love with Oxford and with Queen's in particular. Honestly, it is the best college ever :) I managed to get a grant from my college because they don't want me to drop out because of my financial difficulties. I've found friends who go out and buy me chips and cheese at 3am when Im having an essay crisis. People who sit in my room at 5am and listen to me moaning about my love life. People who've seen me happy and sad, who've brouht be to bed while I was drunk and with whom I have 5-hours long political debates while drinking red wine and listening to classical music. Real friends. And it's so great. It's like Im having a new relationship with all the Queen's people :)
Work is hard but I generally really enjoy it. Our library is open 24/7 (and that's for a reason) and obviously I can think of better places to be at 3am than the college library, Modern Languages section, but then it is such a joy to get my essay back with a comment from my tutor: "This is very good indeed. A very well-argued essay." Oxford now feels like home and Im already pining for it although I've only been away for 2 days. 6 weeks is so long, don't know how to manage. Why do we have to get such ridiculously long holidays? (and yes, I do realize that moaning about long holidays is not what people usually do and that it might sound just slightly strange.)
I feel like everything is going well, like Im developing both intellectually and socially. Oxford is a magical place even though it's really expensive (it has now been officially proved that studying there is more expensive than studying in London) and I know Im going to struggle with money especially since I've already overspent massively in the first term. But Im strong and I will find a way.
After the 3rd term I have 8 exams, the so-called "prelims". Most subjects get 4 papers but since Im doing a joint degree (German&Spanish) i get double the amount. It's going to be fun, especially with Spanish that I still really struggle with. Translations (in my case from one foreign language to another) are really hard but then my Spanish tutor says that my Spanish has really improved. So Im trying to work hard and not panick. Have about 10 books to read over Christmas, most of them being 16th century Spanish poetry (in original of course).
But Im actually really happy. In fact, I don't think I've ever been so happy before, despite all the difficulties and having a broken heart and missing my now ex-boyfriend. But well, life goes on, and as I've been proved, we can never know what the next day will bring.