the modern world of confusion

I have always known deep inside that there must be a good reason for my unusually strong dislike of dentists and generally doctors. Today I was proved right- I decided to have my teeth checked, "just in case", two days before leacing to Oxford. No tooth hurt me, everything was perfectly fine but people still warned me that if I go the dentist will surely find something. And so she did- a tooth which I thought was perfectly fine, and which apparently requires a root canal. I won't be able to have it done until December when I come back to Poland (and the insurance doesn't cover any dental treatment in the UK) so for now she just put some poison inside the tooth that is meant to kill the nerves, so that she can pull them out later. Yay, sounds terrific.
It hurts like hell, I've already taken 3 pain killers and they don't help. I just hope it won't be like that till December or I will literally take a pair of combination pliers and remove the bastard myself.
To say that I'm freaking out about that root canal is an understatement. I know it may seem like Im just panicking but seriously, I am incredibly bad at taking pain. I fainted when I had a blood test and today, when she was just examining the tooth, I got so pale, that she had to put down the whole torture chair. This is how my body reacts to pain or (Gog vorbid) blood- it shuts down and I black out.
So yeah, I was wondering if anyone could tell me just how badly the root canal actually hurts? I asked one person who had it done, and she said she'd rather give birth to another child than have this done to her again. Not very encouraging.
My mum said it was all my fault for not going earlier. But how was I ever meant to know that anything was wrong? She also said that if I'm so bad at taking pain than I should never have children. Great.
I just wish they could put me out for any medical treatments, really.

As for Oxford- I'm flying on Sunday, with my 15 kilos suitcase. Still haven't found the lacking money, will just have to look for a job there and hope for the best. I just hope I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life.

As expected, it turns out that getting in at Oxford was actually the easiest part of the whole process. The real problem is- surprise, surprise- the money. The Queen's College was finally kind enough to send me information on the accomodation and other living costs and cheerfully informed me that in the first year I'm absolutely not allowed to live out. I therefore have to accept their fantastic offer of getting a barely furnished room in an old building that looks like a prison and only has one shower for the whole corridor- and all that for only 16 quid a day! Now that's what I call a great deal.
I would like to add that 16 quid is 2 days salary in Poland if you have a good job.
Most of all, how can they force people into their crap unreasonably expensive accomodation? Doesn't that break some law? Maybe I'm just foreign and ignorant of the English habits but it doesn't seem fair to me. Despite studying at their college I'm actually a free human and should be allowed to live wherever I want. They just ban any competition and they impose this unfair deal onto people.
I'm not allowed to do self catering in the building either so I have to go for the college meals too. Why doesn't it surprise me?
Oh, and did I mention that for 16 quid a day they won't even provide me with bedclothes and that I have to take them with me halfway across Europe on a bloddy Ryanair plane where I have the luggage allowance of 15 kilos and have to pay 6 quid for every extra kilo (which should be a crime, frankly)?
I'm not even there yet and there are already so many problems. I just feel disappointed by Oxford and by people's attitude. They're just not willing to help at all. I'm arriving two days before the term start because I couldn't book my plane for a different day and they won't even let me move into that accommodation.
Whenever I talk to them I just get the feeling that they could do so much more if the secreatary was at least kind enough to move her bottom from the chair and check things for me. Oh well.
I still love Oxford and still desperately want to study there but at least now I know what my bf meant when he said that 'you can love and hate Oxford at the same time'. I suppose that's what you get if you establish an institution in the Middle Ages and refuse to change anything about it ever since.
I can't even afford my studies there to be frank. I'm getting 4000 a year from my parents and I need at least 6000 to survive. That leaves me 2000 to earn and I just hope it's doable. I realise that my studies will be extremely hard especially since I have to catch up on one of the subjects. I'm meant to be doing advanced Spanish and I'm only intermediate by now. Can't even manage some of the books from my reading list... but instead of studying all the time I'll have to work as well. Yay, great.
I'm not entirely sure why I'm putting myself through all this. I never really went for S&M. I got in at every single university I applied to so I could just stay in Poland and have a nice happy life here. But for some reason I'm determined to chase that Oxford dream, to fight for it, no matter what the obstacles are... am I mad? I just get the feeling that I shouldn't give up my dream, that I shouldn't resign from something I had dreamt of for so long... maybe I'm just young and naive and way too idealistic... I know that it won't be 'the promised land', that it won't be paradise, that it will be bloody hard... and yet I'm hoping to manage by shere determination.
Please send me the address of the nearest madhouse. Or tell me I'll be fine.